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Quick Singles

'I'd have loved to play in the underarm game'

The New Zealand quick on what he'll do with his IPL money, his first TV advertisement, and whether he'd ever return to Test cricket

Shane Bond bowls Adam Gilchrist, Australia v New Zealand, VB Series, Adelaide, 26 January 2002

Favourite dismissal: yorking Gilchrist in a 2002 ODI  •  Tony Lewis/Getty Images

What's the first thing you'll buy with your big IPL money?
[Laughs] I'll probably buy my kids something. Or take a family holiday - in Australia, or somewhere exotic like Fiji.
You used to throw up because of nerves before big matches. Do you think you'll do that before your first IPL game?
Since I've been back, I'm really enjoying my cricket. And I'm really looking forward to playing in the Eden Gardens. I spoke to John Wright about it and he told me about the crowd, the atmosphere... I'm really excited to experience all that.
What was your first television advertisement?
On Sky TV, here in New Zealand. In the ad they had me changing shirts as we were shifting from the Test series to ODIs. So I gave my shirt to the cleaners and when I got it back, it was a one-day shirt.
How good were you in it?
I can tell you, I'm not an actor!
Chris Martin has the Learn to Bat like Chris Martin video. What would yours be on?
So it has to be something I'm really bad at? I guess it would be Field in the Slips Like Shane Bond. I have tried fielding in the slips at times and I was just awful.
Would you return to Test cricket if the money became as good as in the IPL?
No. I have come to a point where I've realised my body can't handle Test cricket. I just got tired of that, so no, I wouldn't return.
Is Daniel Vettori the most powerful man in New Zealand?
[Laughs] I don't know, but surely in New Zealand cricket!
What is the most likely place we'd find you and Brendon McCullum on a non-match day during the IPL?
You'd find Brendon at a golf course and me in a coffee bar.
What is your favourite comfort food?
KFC. I love chocolate as well.
Is there a match from history that you would have loved to be part of?
That's a great question. I would have loved to be part of the underarm game.
What is the big difference between playing for New Zealand and playing in the ICL?
Playing for your country is truly special. It's something you always dream of. The ICL could never have given me that feeling.
Would you want your children to play cricket professionally?
I have two girls and a boy. My son is a year and a half and already walks around with a bat trying to hit about. He also loves watching cricket on television. But hopefully [if he plays] he has better sense than to be a bowler [laughs]. We encourage our girls to play a lot of different sports. But if any of them wanted to play cricket professionally, I would back them 100%.
What did New Zealand Cricket tell you when they suspended your national contract for joining the ICL?
They had earlier assured me that I could play international cricket. But then they just told me I'd have to tear up my ICL contract. That put me between a rock and a hard place.
Is it harder being a policeman or a Test cricketer?
Well, cricket is physically challenging, while police work is mentally challenging. I think being a cricketer is the best job in the world. I have no complaints. So I'd say police work is harder.
What's your favourite dismissal to date?
Adam Gilchrist. I bowled a yorker to him in my first one-day series.
Who's the fastest bowler you've faced?
Brett Lee. I was terrified batting to him.
What's your favourite Bond movie?
The first Daniel Craig one, Casino Royale.
If you could bowl to one batsman from history and face one bowler, which two would they be?
I would have liked to bowl to Don Bradman to see what he was like. And bat to Richard Hadlee.
What's your favourite country to tour?
Australia. The grounds are terrific, and outside cricket there is plenty to do, plenty of places to eat and keep busy. Also, there is this fierce rivalry between our countries. We get sledged a lot by Australian spectators. I can't tell you what, because most of it is unprintable, but we still have a lot of fun.
What's the one thing New Zealand cricket has that Australian cricket doesn't?
[Thinks a while] Umm... we play in rugby grounds. And it gets a lot colder down here in the winters.

Nishi Narayanan is a staff writer at Cricinfo