Feature

Enthusiastic in-laws and Ashes slugfests

This year we realised that administrators say the darnedest things and that cricketers can sometimes be funny

Chris Gayle trains ahead of the series against Pakistan, Providence, July 13, 2013

Chris Gayle: the coolest kid ever  •  WICB Media

"I just said to him, I am 20ks quicker than he is, so he shouldn't bounce me."
Dale Steyn's warning to Neil Wagner on the second day of the Port Elizabeth Test
"I spent half my life trying to get away from it and now it's a hashtag."
Graeme Smith doesn't like his nickname "Biff", which was used as #Biff100 by Cricket South Africa for his 100th Test
"It's the only form I get picked in, so I'm a big fan of it."
Kyle Mills likes one-day cricket
"You are going to laugh at this, but that ball and the ball I bowled Chris Martin at the Gabba. Exactly the same thing, through the gate."
Nathan Lyon's answer to the question: was bowling Sachin Tendulkar between bat and pad his best Test delivery?
"I'm jealous of my parents. I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs."
The inimitable Chris Gayle
"When you give Sir Ravindra Jadeja one ball to get 2 runs he will win it with one ball to spare!!"
One of the many Sir Jadeja jokes on MS Dhoni's Twitter account after an IPL match that Chennai Super Kings won
"When people around the world think of cricket, I want them to think of Indianapolis."
Greg Ballard, the mayor of the American city, explained his dream at a business conference in Delhi
"Too busy counting the money I made for them."
Lalit Modi's response to a tweet about whether the BCCI still cares for him
"I gave the chewing gum such a workout I am disappointed that no one approached me for advertising. I did the chewing gum a world of good, it was like my little brother."
Viv Richards fondly remembered his batting partner
"I know what David Moyes is feeling this morning."
Russell Domingo, who replaced Gary Kirsten as South Africa's coach, empathised with Manchester United's successor for Alex Ferguson
"He would go [for the matches]... he was enthusiastic."
N Srinivasan has an explanation for his son-in-law Gurunath Meiyappan's frequent presence in the Chennai Super Kings dugout
"There's not a lot of good that happens at 2.30 in the morning in a pub or a nightclub."
James Sutherland, Cricket Australia's chief executive, wasn't a fan of nights out that end in bust-ups, like David Warner's did
"We look forward to seeing him in store again - fully clothed."
Jamie Curtis, the deputy store manager of a Kent supermarket where a Hampshire cricketer was caught streaking
"They'd win the first four Tests and we'd try to nick one at the end when they were all drunk."
Former England captain Nasser Hussain remembered just how competitive the Ashes were during his playing days
"Where's Freddie? I need a hug."
Brett Lee had a flashback to Edgbaston 2005 after England won the Trent Bridge Ashes Test by 14 runs
"There's no way that I should have played Test cricket or one-day cricket or any sort of cricket, let alone be picked for any side."
Former Zimbabwe spinner Ray Price didn't have a high opinion of his skills
"Hooked another one to Rooty. Of all the people in the field."
David Warner saw the irony of being caught on the boundary by his sparring partner, Joe Root
"I just hope the Australian public give it to him [Stuart Broad] right from the word go for the whole summer and I hope he cries and he goes home."
It's safe to assume that Australia coach Darren Lehmann did not send a Christmas card to Stuart Broad this year
"Rupee is in a free fall. The country is in crisis and there's gloom everywhere. What does it matter if I attend a BCCI meeting or not?"
N Srinivasan did not think his board presidency was an issue for Indians to lose sleep over
"Lorgat is a nice gentleman, but it would be nice of him if he apologises."
Stand-in BCCI president Jagmohan Dalmiya's solution for ending the the BCCI-CSA impasse
"At least they'll do their homework."
Former Australia coach Mickey Arthur on the bright side of coaching schoolkids in Perth
"Maybe, but only for the five days. If the young man is listening, unfortunately, that's how it is."
Sourav Ganguly, when asked whether Sachin Tendulkar would be more popular than him in Kolkata during his penultimate Test match
"Sachin was trying to look after his mate [Harbhajan Singh] and changed his story a couple of times to suit."
Ricky Ponting, the former Australia captain, on the hearings after the infamous Monkeygate scandal of 2008
"How does Usain Bolt know you? You're just my soccer coach."
Matthew Hayden's son Joshua wanted to know why Bolt said Hayden was his hero during the Olympics
"First, tell me who has spelt Sachin wrong."
MS Dhoni, referring to "Sachine" next to the big screen at the Eden Gardens
"I just have to turn up."
Zaheer Khan on his plans against Graeme Smith, whom he had dismissed six times in nine Tests before the start of the series in December

Nishi Narayanan is a staff writer at ESPNcricinfo