Date-stamped : 04 Jan97 - 14:18 report Electronic Telegraph Final humiliation as Brandes finishes off wounded England By Martin Johnson in Harare THE uncomfortable parallel between certain southern African wildlife and England cricket victories - endangered species - was mirrored by a banner which summed up England's final Zimbawean humiliation here yesterday: "Forget The White Rhino, Save The Poms". There was also something symbolic in the way the drums beat on into the night, a reminder that the orchestra played on when the Titanic went down. However, any resemblance to an ocean-going liner has long since departed - replaced by a barnacle-hulled tub that wouldn't make it to the other side of a duck pond. If the first two one-day internationals contained at least the odd glimmer of hope, this was not so much a defeat as a public flogging. The margin, 131 runs, was as appalling as England's overseas record in one-day internationals, 12 consecutive defeats against Test-playing nations. Their only victims during that sequence were the United Arab Emirates and Holland, and even now they must be shaking their heads in Dubai and Amsterdam, wondering how on earth they lost. The last overseas one-day series England won, in fact, was in New Zealand in 1992, since when they have failed in India, Sri Lanka, the West Indies, Australia, South Africa, and now Zimbabwe. As for Zimbabwe-England one-day internationals, the score now stands at 5-1. David Lloyd, the coach, had prayed that it would not rain yesterday, so that England would have the chance to leave here on a positive note, but if most of Harare remained dry, there might just have been some moisture on his handerchief. "If these players are professional, they'll really be up for this game," Lloyd had said the previous evening. Well, they weren't, and they paid a well-deserved price in the ritual taunting they endured from the well-lubricated home supporters. Batsmen trailing from the field were variously advised to seek alternative employment, and Michael Atherton was accompanied back to the dressing-room by a beery oik waving a white handkerchief. England, having put Zimbabwe in to bat and been flogged around for 249, disintegrated to 118 all out in 30 overs on the back of the top order being decimated by an Eddo Brandes hat-trick, only the 10th in one-day internationals and - a little more surprisingly - the first against England. Most one-day hat-tricks involve lower order batsmen slogging, but this one cleaned up the cream (or maybe we should now be calling it the skimmed milk) of England's batting. None of England's bowlers managed to produce the late swing and away seam of Brandes, and it is hardly surprising the batsmen struggle against international class bowling when county attacks are so mediocre. Brandes's first victim, Nick Knight, could hardly be said to have got out to a lethal delivery, thin-edging a legside catch to the wicketkeeper - much as he did in the second Test - to the last ball of Brandes' second over. The first ball of Brandes's third over was not unplayable either, John Crawley playing across a more or less straight delivery, but the hat-trick ball was undeniably special. The perfect length drew Nasser Hussain forward, the ball swung late to take the outside edge, and wicketkeeper Andy Flower took a stunning full- length catch low down in front of first slip. Brandes continued to bowl superbly, picking up Alec Stewart with another late outswinger and getting Michael Atherton (who had virtually resumed his opener's spot despite coming in at No 5) with one which lifted and left him. From 54 for five there was no way back for England, and all that remained was to try to pass their previous lowest one-day score, 93 in the 1975 World Cup semi-final against Australia at Headingley. At 77 for eight they were odds against, but some desperate slogging finally lifted them past three figures before the last two wickets went down off consecutive balls. No fewer than five batsmen were out for a duck. England's attack, by contrast, only picked up wickets through loose strokeplay as Zimbabwe looked to press on from a healthy 131 for one (and that to a run-out) from their opening 29 overs. Grant Flower, who used to be a dedicated blocker until he was weaned onto frisky strokeplay by England's bowlers, struck a rapid 62, and Alistair Campbell, the captain, batted through the last 35 overs of the innings for his 80 not out. Ronnie Irani bowled steadily, but without looking as though his remodelled action will ever get him a Test wicket, and Alan Mullally also offered few free hits until Paul Strang hoiked him high over square leg - one of five sixes in the Zimbabwean innings - in his final over. The rest, frankly, were just ordinary. Atherton and Lloyd declined to be interviewed on the players' balcony, which was understandable in view of the alcohol-fuelled taunting going on below, but both captain and coach managed to grit their way through private interviews with a wry good humour that was commendable given the circumstances. What they were feeling inside, of course, would have been entirely different, but Atherton fended off the inevitable questions about resignation with a straighter bat than he has been using out on the field. "Of course I'm upset and disappointed, but we're only halfway through the winter. Ask me again at the end of the tour." Lloyd insisted, as he has always done, that England would have won both Tests given better weather, but agreed that his side had "not been up to it" in the one-dayers. "They're totally different disciplines, and we'll probably have to re-think our one-day strategy in New Zealand. But we won't let ourselves get down. We'll regroup, work hard, and come again with confidence." Asked whether he was still enjoying his own role, Lloyd said (without any intentional humour): "One of the joys of coaching is that there are always plenty of things to work on." You can say that again. Meantime, the crowd stayed on to celebrate and a great cheer greeted the announcement that the Zimbabwe team had received a personal message of congratulation from President Robert Mugabe. Ask most Zimbabweans if they know who was residing at No 10 when England last received a 'well done' message from the Prime Minister, and they would probably hazard a guess at Harold Macmillan. Source :: Electronic Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk) Contributed by The Management (help@cricinfo.com)